Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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