I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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