I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
