found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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