My first STD was from a foam party
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
