I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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