he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You are the jesus of drinking
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
