We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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