question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
