So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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