i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
