apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They took my balls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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