love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
