i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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