I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am puke
They should really pass out barf bags in church
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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