He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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