Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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