i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
