I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
