I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
