You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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