alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
