she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
