you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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