i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
