Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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