Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
