Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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