Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize