u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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