dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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