i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
