Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
