i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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