I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
