do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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