what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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