the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm just crazy horny about you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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