I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
