so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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