Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The air was thick with penises
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
