so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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