I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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