ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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