I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
