you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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