Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
