I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
