She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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