google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
