drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All the doctor said was why
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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