Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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