She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
