be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
