do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
