I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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