So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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