Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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