if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
