I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize