You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize